I once said that Green Mill made Thursdays the new Fridays among my circle of friends because of the amazing atmosphere and great live music from the Alan Gresik Swing Shift Orchestra. That was back in April.

Of course, I still love GM and enjoy getting dressed up on Thursdays in a pinup getup and hit the dance floor with guys who will twirl you until you are nauseated (I love swing dancing!).

But it’s because I love Green Mill so much that I feel like I can criticise the heck out of it. That being said, you should go to Green Mill even after reading this scathing review because it is worth your time and the positives definitely outweigh the negatives.

Here are my issues with Green Mill:

1. All of the bartenders are jerks. It must be GM’s only requirement, because out of the many times I have been there the drinks have been terrible and the service sucks. The bartenders never have anything nice to say; as a matter of fact they go out of their way to make nasty comments under their breath about the drink you choose or roll their eyes when you ask a comment about what beers they have. Instead of answering politely they just loudly tap a menu on the bar, as if you were expected to memorise it instead of taking five seconds of their “precious” time to ask. Last time I was there I accidentally elbowed over one of these menus that was in a standing clip. The bartender rolled his eyes and told me to “calm down”. He is lucky I didn’t punch him in the face.  For a place with “Cocktail Lounge” in the name, I am yet to have a good cocktail. Last night my cranberry vodka was all cranberry and the bartender gave my date the shifty eye for not pulling his money out quickly enough.

2. The dance floor is tiny. Too tiny. Okay, at least there is a dance floor *cough* Underground *cough*. But it makes it hard to swing dance or even slow dance when we are packed like sardines in a tin can on a cramped dance floor, and Mr. & Mrs. Good Time next to you decide to bust into the Charleston. Puh-lease!

3. No matter where you are standing, you are sure to always be in the way. I am not kidding! It could be a nearly empty venue on a Tuesday night when you are just trying to mellow out to the Deep Blue Organ Trio, sitting at a table and then all of a sudden a disgruntled waitress will snap, “EXCUSE ME!” as if you are blocking all pathways to other tables. Forget it if it’s a Thursday. You will be asked to move a million times, even when you are tucked into a corner and there is no possible way you are blocking anyone. It’s annoying.

Me, always in the way at Green Mill Cocktail Lounge

Did you think there was going to be more problems? Me, too. But I thought long and hard and that’s all I’ve got. So even though I am ranting, Green Mill is actually pretty awesome. If you want a table you either have to get their early or designate one of your friends to be the official “table vulture”. Good luck.

See ya Thursday, loves!

Dev xx

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